Mr. Sexy is back at work after two months of disability leave. In October he injured himself throwing a tire into the back of our truck. Two months later the pain in his back only worsened causing sleeplessness, increased irritability and a lack of functionality in every day life. He then made the decision to work from home. But after a few weeks, as we finally started getting answers about his injury, it was suggested by his doctor he officially go on disability leave.
I do not believe in chance. Everything happens for a reason. Our pregnancy. His injury. Going on disability leave. Heading back to work. Timing can be everything. During this chain of events, timing was everything. In the moment I knew it, and looking back I see it even more clearly.
The moment I found out about you, I was filled with fear. For me, for you, for the broken ideas that I had for our lives.
January 26, 2008
Then you turned one and you started spending nights with your dad. When you were home, I would watch you sleeping in your crib. And I would sob. And pray. And trace your perfectly round face with my fingertips. Our future looked bleak at that time. I saw myself going nowhere fast. And as for your future, well, I couldn’t see that either.
I haven’t quite decided how to talk about recent events. Many might say it’s not a good idea because it’s so fresh. But my blog is where I contemplate what is going on in my life. It is never my intent to belittle anybody here as I talk about my life and share how I work through the good, the bad and the ugly. I actually think that generally, I succeed in this area – although there is always room for improvement. I also know for a fact that a few would heartily disagree with my last statement. And if you fall in that category, then stop reading here.
Wow. I am certainly not handling this day very well.
I have troubles with a family member who doesn’t seem to care about me or my family. I have a step-daughter who blatantly disregards the simple boundaries I give her on a daily basis. There are people on soap boxes every where I look (yup, I have one of my own).
So, today, my mind and my heart are at an unrest. I am praying. I am reaching out to friends. Now I am writing.
For today, I am going talk about that step-daughter of mine. The who has down syndrome, is going through puberty and doesn’t respect given boundaries.
Of course, that doesn’t include me and Mr. Sexy. We are an amazing couple. Always managed to see beyond our rose colored glasses. Always aware of the world spinning around us. Always making smart choices for our future, hand in hand.
Looking back, our engagement and wedding bliss is full of emotions. Some are sad. Some are embarrassing. The rest are wonderful. I knew what kind of bride I was. The fancy dress. Perfect location. Finest food. Largest guest list. Most expensive flower arrangements. It was an event society told me would be all about me. It was accepted and it was OK. Although, I was not a bridezilla. I wasn’t crazy or mean to the girls I surrounded myself with and called “bridesmaids.” I just knew what I wanted and made it known to the appropriate people.
Valentine’s Day is a love-hate thing in our culture. At least, that’s my viewpoint from the multitude of facebook posts and bloggers and tweets and insta-peeps and everything else. That’s why I really liked this:
Awesome. Sauce. So true. In the spectrum of things, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be the worst day of the year. Unless a pity party is something you enjoy. And if I’m being honest, I throw myself one of those from time to time.