Newly weds are THE WORST.
Of course, that doesn’t include me and Mr. Sexy. We are an amazing couple. Always managed to see beyond our rose colored glasses. Always aware of the world spinning around us. Always making smart choices for our future, hand in hand.
Looking back, our engagement and wedding bliss is full of emotions. Some are sad. Some are embarrassing. The rest are wonderful. I knew what kind of bride I was. The fancy dress. Perfect location. Finest food. Largest guest list. Most expensive flower arrangements. It was an event society told me would be all about me. It was accepted and it was OK. Although, I was not a bridezilla. I wasn’t crazy or mean to the girls I surrounded myself with and called “bridesmaids.” I just knew what I wanted and made it known to the appropriate people.
I have one huge regret about my wedding: I waited all day to see my betrothed so we could have our magical “first look” experience. It’s now about a handful of years later and I know myself, my husband, and us as a couple so much better. The me-now would tell the me-back-then to DO WHAT YOU WANT. Screw tradition. Perfection ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. You’re so stressed out that you’re sick. So call him. See him. Give him the opportunity to take care of you like he is about to pledge to do for the rest of his life.
It took about a year to plan my wedding. I actually knew the date before we got engaged. However, I still had to clear the date with family and those closest to us. What good would this event be if family couldn’t come because of a silly scheduling conflict? It was also enjoyable to spend time working through our bridal party and ceremony. Who would be standing next to us, representing support in our favor? Who would be in those first two rows reserved for family? Who gets the honor of participating as we say our vows?
Every. Single. Person. Was chosen. Honored.
One of my brothers was a groomsman.
My other two brothers performed the music for the ceremony.
My sister-in-law made our cake.
My grandmother and cousin cut and served our cake – they even made fancy aprons.
Our two kids were juniors in the bridal party.
And now, every time I look back on pictures and video, I get to remember those who did me the honor of participating in one of the most important moments of my life.
Now I’m back in the present. And there is another wedding in the family. (Thus, all my wedding posts as of late.) It has taken a very different turn than I would have expected. It’s painful. But I’m also being challenged. I am faced with the choice to once again push down the hurt and pretend, or work through it so the wounds may heal. It’s interesting how these events can bring about such challenging issues in one’s life.
Here’s the skinny on how I view these once-in-a-lifetime events: You make every effort for those you WANT to be involved, or even just to attend.
I have been described as deep lover. A passionate woman. While relationships feel very broken, I so badly want them righted. Yet I seem to be learning that I should not expect my own feelings to be reciprocated all the time.