Sex and Women

Yes, these two passions of mine do go together. So it makes perfect sense that I recently became a Pure Romance Consultant! I won’t be sharing too much about that here on my blog because it’s an in-home-party business. However, I do want to explain why I am beginning this exciting adventure!

I am a Christian and I grew up in a Christian family. I received the official “sex talk” when I was about nine years old. It was just me and my mom in the car and we were driving somewhere. I think it might even have been raining. I’m not sure why we were talking about that stuff unless I just happened to be asking all the “right” questions. I remember getting the basic overview and staring out the window trying not belly laugh out of embarrassment and excitement. This was intimate stuff! And it related directly to me as a girl who would be flowering in the next few years. (Yes, flowering.) I don’t remember talking about sex much after that first conversation – at least, not with my mom.

I lost my virginity when I was 16. It was the morning after a drunken party and the guy I was “seeing” decided this was the time. It was a painful experience and one I regret very much. As an adult, I am finally able to start letting go of this past and everything that came after. I am able to share my story with others and understand pieces of who I am today which was shaped by some choices I made back then.

I was sexually active basically until I got married. As a Christian I felt the constant conviction of God so I did have periods of “dry spells” where I was being a “good Christian.” I always managed to fall back into old ways, though. Because of this, I was with boys who did not treat me well. While sex was enjoyable, it always came with strings attached. For instance, I liked to be a tease to whatever boy I was “with” at the time. But then I was told, “You can’t start something and then stop. You have to finish it off.” Yup. Word-for-word people. This phrase continues to haunt my mind.

I don’t consider myself to have been a slut. I was with only one boy at a time. I wasn’t having a one night stand every day of the week. I was simply having sex with whomever was in my life at the time.

Enter my husband. We got married, then something changed. Sex became difficult. My libido was low. My emotions were a mess. I still liked to be a tease and my new husband certainly enjoyed it! So it was almost mechanical for me to make sure I “finished the job.” Mr. Sexy didn’t realize this was going on at first. But one time, while we were being together and my emotions felt particularly messy, I started to cry. Yeah, it’s a mood killer for sure. But instead of “needing to finish,” my husband held me close, stroked my hair and let me cry all my tears.

We have now been married about 3 1/2 years and I consider us finally having a normal, healthy sex life. I still love to be a tease but if that’s where I draw the line, that’s just fine. “You’re the one in control,” he used to tell me all the time. He still reminds me every once in a while but for the most part I definitely know who wears the pants in the bedroom. ::wink wink::

I am not alone in my struggles with sex. Yet I felt very alone. I went to church regularly. I had lots of friends. But I was embarrassed about my struggle, believe it or not. As a young married woman, I should have been able to run to the women of the church to support me and hold my hand during that time. But I didn’t.

Sex can be such a taboo topic, can’t it? But it doesn’t have to be. Sex and marriage was God’s design. I believe that in the confines of that design, sexual intimacy should be celebrated. I’m not talking about yelling about your great orgasm to the neighborhood or anything like that. I’m talking about woman-to-woman. Coffee dates. Bible studies. Girl’s night out. Taking the kids to the park. Sex is such a FUN topic of conversation! And it only becomes dirty and wrong if we make it that way!

I attended my first Pure Romance party as a newly wed going through all those struggles I just described. The coolest part was that I was surrounded by women who went to my church! While I wasn’t comfortable to share my struggles, I did get a taste of what a healthy sex life with my husband could look like.

This is why I decided to become a Pure Romance Consultant. I am passionate about relationship with women and I am passionate that we have a healthy sexual relationship in our marriage. And of course I’m hoping to make some money, too.

What I want you to know is this: Whoever you are: married, single, separated, somewhere in between;  sex is beautiful. I learned this through my own marriage. So let’s celebrate together and keep lines of communication open whether it’s through a Pure Romance party or a coffee date.

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3 thoughts on “Sex and Women

  1. yeah Sex!!!! 🙂
    you knew I was coming running right over! haha
    I am so surprised by how many woman I CANNOT talk to at my church about sex. I mean the barest mention of a sexy time with Left Brain and they are all “oohhh, my.. that’s a lot of information.” Um, actually no. it isn’t. we haven’t even made it out of the front hall yet… if you can’t handle THAT.. good lawd, I better not tell you anything more!! 😉
    I have 2 good friends and we can talk about anything! anything. And one of them has only been with her husband on her wedding night and since her mom died when she was little: she knew next to nothing! And she was almost 30 when she married.
    boy did we educate her. Ha.
    but honestly – it’s supposed to be Fun. I don’t know why people get all hung up about it. We KNOW we are all doing it!

    Like

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