Caring is to…

Here is 5 minutes of unedited writing on the topic:

Does anyone else struggle with caring for other people? 

What about those closest to us?  I don’t mean the gushy closeness.  I’m talking about proximity. 

The one(s) we see every day – or nearly every day – and just being in the same room can be … difficult. 

For me, there seems to be an absence of love. 

I think that’s the point of all this, though. 

I think I’m supposed to learn what love means. How it’s supposed to look.  How it’s supposed to feel. 

Mr. Sexy has shown me a lot over our four years together. 

But I think that with kids comes more, shall we say, opportunities to learn.  Then with Mr. Sexy and I we already had one kid each.  

We threw ourselves together.  Fingers crossed.  Hopes high.  Gushy love swirling around us. 

The gushyies don’t last forever.  In fact, the gushies didn’t make it past our honeymoon. 

So now, here we are, with another child added to the mix 

I’m still learning and understanding what love is supposed to look like.  And feel like.  And be like. 

And I think, that one day, I will look back the days I’m in now and say, “Ah, she was teaching me to love.”

Caring, for me, about people, about those closest in proximity, has been one of my most difficult struggles.


12 thoughts on “Caring is to…

  1. I agree! Sometimes it's so difficult to care for and love on those who are closest to us. It's so easy for me to care for and love on the folks I serve at the soup kitchen, or the people in my small group, or even customers I see at work every day. But when it comes to my family who are with me in the mess of life, it can be so hard to show grace one more time. To extend forgiveness. But thank God for His grace and mercy who shows me what it's like to I can keep trying.


  2. We threw ourselves together. Fingers crossed. Hopes High – I love the way you wrote that, it resonates with me and I guess it will with many people… I only have one little dude, but it changes things – and I think you're right it's a learning experience, which is difficult but important to keep in mind when things feel tough.


  3. I come from a severely “dysfunctional” (there's a blast from the past!) blended family, and now I have my own (not-dysfunctional, amen) blended family. Even without the challenges of DS, it can be confusing and heartbreaking. I hope that one day, that is exactly what happens…that you look back and find profound meaning in these early years, that she was teaching you how to love, and that you were a better student than you thought you were. I think maybe every gift we are given can seem burdensome before we understand it, and we all just hope to reach enlightenment before it kills us. Wishing you peace, love, and understanding (on a fast track). Thank you for your honesty, your bravery, and your willingness to try over and over and over again.


  4. I think that it probably looks different to different people. My husband was pretty touchy, lovey, sweet. But not all men are that way. I think if you aren't getting what you need or want from Mr. Sexy you should tell him what you need or want. And be to the kids how you want them to be with you and that should work….


  5. It's hard to open ourselves up. especially if we are caring some pain of our own – that just makes us more vulnerable. hubby and I have been married 11 years now – together 13, and I still am learning about caring and Love. I kinda hope I never stop learning — it seems like that's how its supposed to be.


  6. I am reminded of this a lot: Outsiders can easily extend love to, say, Marie whenever they see her – which may be once a week or for a short time every day. But for here and I living together, it's harder. It really should be opposite though. It SHOULD be easiest to love those we know the most – our family. It's such a messy world we live in! Thanks for you comment.


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