I logged into blogger this morning with the intent to unpublish my recent post, Girls, Let’s Leap! Then I read some of the comments and I decided, well, this is all part of the story. So I’m writing instead.
In my current state of mind, I’m embarrassed by what I shared recently. In the moments I felt led by the Holy Spirit to bring everything I have to the table. Now, I’m not so sure I heard correctly. I feel like I made a mistake.
Perhaps I need to grow a thicker skin. I thought I had, but either it’s still growing or it wasn’t there to begin with.
Perhaps my life is better shared intimately by a therapist, rather than a group of people who don’t know me or my family very well.
I say this over and over again: I try to share my struggles as openly as possible to bring light to the sins, for accountability, and to make it known to others that they are not alone in the harsh dealings of a fallen world.
So, I’m constantly torn between fear of the world and obedience to what it seems I’m being led to do. Today, I’m giving in to the fear just a bit. I’m an imperfect person. Tomorrow, or even later today, hopefully I will decide to lay that fear at Christ’s feet.