My husband was a single dad this weekend.
|Dad’s kind of breakfast.|
He was at home with the kids while I went away for a few nights, He was in no way a “single dad.”
Yet, I wonder how many of us refer to ourselves as single parents when the spouse is gone. Mr. Sexy used to be out of our home daily from 4 am to 7 pm. I was asked if it felt like I was a single parent. My answer is: Heck no! My husband came home every night. I texted him all day. He was working and bringing in an income so I could be home with the kids. It was always strange to be asked if I felt like a single parent.
I may hit some hot buttons with this topic. While it’s not a huge deal, it’s still something I hear from people and I’m thinking about it today as I left Mr. Sexy with all 3 kids this weekend.
Sometimes it’s a weekend, sometimes it’s a week, sometimes it’s a few years that one spouse is out of the home. Work conference, get away weekend, and deployment are just a few examples. But none of that makes either spouse single.
I understand taking care of the kid(s) alone day in and day out would feel lonely. Before I met and married Mr. Sexy I was doing the single mom thing. I consider it a huge blessing we got married when Michael was very young. Thinking about my personal education, a steady income and Michael’s future was a lot to juggle on my own. Not to mention the day to day tantrums, grocery shopping, bed time stories and so on.
I was a single mom.
I was the source of my income.
I was my housekeeper.
I was Michael’s disciplinarian.
I was the chef.
There was no other person coming home to us at the end of the day.
There was no one to tell me good night as I turned off the light.
There was no cash flow coming from anyone other than me (ok, well, I was on welfare so the government did their part too).
There were no love letters in my email, no love notes in my mailbox.
When I had a bad day, there was no significant other to text, email or call about it.
Am I making my point?
|Denai at 32 weeks.|
Mr. Sexy and I found out I was pregnant with Denai the morning he had to leave for three weeks. Military stuff. He wasn’t allowed to cancel or postpone. Three weeks was a long time. I missed him so much it felt painful. Taking care of the two kids and growing one was exhausting work for me. I didn’t get to talk to Mr. Sexy whenever I wanted. Most of the time his phone was off. But I texted him as if he were able to read each one so he would be fully updated when he had some time to talk. I wasn’t working outside the home, yet there was still a cash flow in my bank account so I could do the grocery shopping. I looked forward to Mr. Sexy coming home every day – as did the kids.
In no way was I a single mom during those weeks. My husband was away and working hard to provide for our family. I don’t know many single parents who can say that.