Today I read a post at City Chick in the Country where she spent a few lines talking about expectations about her family. This got me thinking.
My family is still young. Yet my expectations of my family have already been squandered.
For instance, Marie rarely – if ever – meets my expectations. Mr Sexy tells me all the time to adjust my level of expectation for her. Yet I don’t do that. I don’t feel like I can. To me, it seems like that would mean she will never be good enough. Good enough for what? For who? Good enough for me? Is that my problem?
|When we were getting to know each other, 2010.
Sometimes I think we need to figure out how to get
back to that place because we aren’t there anymore.
Do I want Marie to be good enough to be “allowed” to be a part of my family?
As a Christian, I understand where I’m in sin. As an imperfect Christian, I’m not quite sure how to get out of it.
I also had expectations of the family I grew up with. My parents, my three younger brothers. All have failed me. Every singe one. Over and over and over again. (Sound familiar?) But then again, I failed them, too. Every single member of my family have been let down by me – more than once. We are imperfect people, after all.
|The family I grew up with. 2010|
I also had expectations of the picture my family would look like. The picture in my head and the one I currently have do not match. That was my choice, though. I had sex and didn’t use protection. On purpose. No, I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. I was “trying” to stop having sex with my boyfriend. But I was a lonely, horny teenager who was too prideful to go the drugstore. Again. But hey, he’s cute right?
|Michael, 2 months old.|
So I suppose, in many regards, I have failed to meet my own expectations.
Perhaps my expectations need to change. Not for Marie, or for my family or for the friends I have around me. (Let’s face it, friends – best friends – have not always met up to my expectations.) Maybe my expectations need a shift toward what God expects first. And maybe if I practice leaning into Him instead of worldly things, I will have more of a cleared up heart to accept people for who they are, where they are, even when they fail to meet all my expectations.
|My family, 2014|