I’m Obsessive, But It’s a Heart Thing

I started blogging because I carry a burning desire to share my life with others.  As I reintroduce myself and all the hearts that make up my own, I am constantly, at the very least, a little bit nervous.

You are evil.

You should put your daughter up for adoption.

You are going to hell.

You have a black heart.

These words and more still try to plague my spirit.  Even when not directed to my name, I still feel the cutting edge of these spiteful, hateful words.  Those words don’t know love, the power of forgiveness or the wonder of grace.

My family of 5, on the other hand, are able to  know these concepts well.  The five of us stumble and fall daily.  Sometimes, it’s up to one to pick up the others and encourage and push forward in love.  Sometimes, only one of us falls and the blessings of family abound.

The A to Z blogging challenge was a really great way for me to practice blogging from my heart in a positive way.  I also enjoyed the challenge of meeting so many new bloggy spaces where I will continue to visit in the future.  Every blog is unique and I believe each one has a purpose.  As I told my gal pal the other day, “Sure it’s been said already.  But not by you.”  It’s so true. (This girl should have a blog.  I have talked about her a few times here.  She has an incredible amount of knowledge AND opinions about cloth diapering, parenting, female issues and I’m sure there is much more.  I always enjoy her perspective even if it’s different from mine.  So if she’s reading this…be pushed forward. 😉

I worry that I’m a bit obsessive about blogging.  I think about it all the time.

Oh! I should tweet this.

I need to instagram that.

Wow.  My thoughts are amazing right now.  I need to be writing a blog post. 

Mr. Sexy tells me it’s ok.  I’m just passionalte about it.  I’m passionate becasue I love it.  I love sharing my life with other people.  I especially get joy ouf of sharing the bad stuff.  I don’t think a lot of people could say that.  The bad stuff is difficult to write and to read. It is even harder to understand from an outside perspective.  However, if I don’t share the bad stuff, I’m robbing you of the chance to see God taking the bad and turning it into something good.  Actually, I’m robbing myself of the blessings of sharing His story as well.

I would love for my readers to be able to follow along on this journey that my family and I are on.  We are flawed.  Painfully flawed at times.  We all are, aren’t we?  But so often we try to hide and show off clean floors and the spotless kitchen.  While I love those ideas, sometimes, it’s not reality.  I tend to write and discuss the reality that I know in my life.  I’m encouraged in my journey already and I hope you will be too.

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3 thoughts on “I’m Obsessive, But It’s a Heart Thing

  1. you wrote beautifully during the AZ challenge!
    And we all have a story that we want to share with the world — because we all want to be Seen. Just as we are, and accepted and loved still. Which is why God is so awesome — we can't hide it, He already knows – and loves us anyway. Forever imperfect; eternally forgiven!

    Like

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