R is for Rewards: My Journey Through Parenthood

R is for Rewards.

I have found that a reward system for my kids work great.  It coincides with the idea of consequences.  The key is knowing what motivates my kids.  Some rewards are unhealthy, some they will work very hard for and some they won’t give a flying hoot about.

For instance, Marie has an obsession with food.  Therefore, I don’t offer her food rewards of any kind.  She does love stickers which is an incredibly easy reward to offer for something tiny like blowing her nose on her own or for getting a perfect score on a quiz or worksheet.  Then there are some bigger rewards she would just die for: The movie Frozen.  Time to make jewelry with her gazillions of beads.  A shopping excursion or a trip to the salon.  Those are pretty big deal rewards for her.

Michael is a little more complicated.  He is moody and broody at times so different rewards engage him.  Today he was not happy about speed walking through the mall.  All we had to do was pick up my wedding ring and then we were done and headed to 5 Guys for lunch.  So we were speed walking – which is close to running for small people.  After getting our ring I decided: “Hey!  Whoever gets to the van first gets a peep!”  We brought some easter loot on our day trip into the “big city” and Michael was most excited about the peeps.  This worked magnificently.  He ran and gloated about winning and then ran some more.  Yup, he won.

What kind of rewards work for your kids?

This is the A-Z blogging challenge so go ahead and read the introduction and see a list of all my A-Z posts.


12 thoughts on “R is for Rewards: My Journey Through Parenthood

  1. It's definitely important that we find what means the most to our small people to use as rewards. It also means that each child will prefer different rewards. I've been teaching that to my small people so that they understand that fair does not mean equal.


  2. One of the biggest things with my kids, is that they HATE being separated from the rest of their “pack.” being sent to their rooms is the meanest thing I can do to them. And I only send them if they just need to calm down for 5 minutes; it's not even really a punishment. But the threat of missing out on whatever is happening outside their room is just too much. They come out perfect little angels. for now.

    but basically some kind of reward is usually the best policy for most things. Like, don't even ask about any of your Easter candy if you don't eat your supper. Or desserts on any other night. But if I ask you to clean your room, or put your dirty clothes in the hamper? That's a chore and you will do it. There is no reward for that. But you may be minus one iPod for a couple of days if you don't do it.
    So, there are things we all do to keep the house clean, tidy, organized – and our bodies – and we just do those things together as a team. No rewards for anyone. Then, there are extras too that might just get you a Ring Pop because mama is proud of you.
    And wants 10 minutes to enjoy her hot coffee. 🙂


  3. Stickers worked for both my kids. And then when they collected 25 stickers, they were allowed to buy a $5 gift from a bookstore. Positive reinforcement always works better than punishment. Good post.


  4. Separately but equal? One of our parenting struggles is we tend to parent Michael differently than Marie. They are so different but they really need the same rules and guidelines. But also because of their differences they do have to be parented a tad differently. It's a fine line for Mr. Sexy and I to walk.


  5. I used to have a sticker book with hundreds of stickers and I spent hours organizing them and reorganizing them. While Marie really loves stickers she tends to rip them instead of save them. I'm hoping one of these days she will be able to have a sticker book and enjoy that.


  6. I enjoyed being sent to my room as a kid. I liked being alone with my books, my writing, my adventures in odyssey tapes. Once I was grounded to my room for the entire day and I loved it. My mom brought me dinner on a tray which I ate at my desk in my room. Alone. Happily reading. lol Maybe it was my dad who needed the space (he was the one who ordered the punishment) and hey, he STILL needs space from me! lol


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