D is for Disciplined Date Night.
|Birthday Date Night|
I think it goes without saying that it takes a substantial amount of discipline to keep up on date night – especially with a new baby. Mr. Sexy and I had a regular date night while dating which lasted into pregnancy with Denai. Friday night date night. But life happened and then a baby happened and then it was Valentine’s Day, 2014. I wanted Mr. Sexy to take me to dinner. I didn’t care where. I didn’t care how long the wait would be. I just wanted out of the house in pretty clothes and makeup with no kids around. He didn’t get the memo that going out was so important to me so when I realized he was making me a candlelit dinner while the kids watched movies downstairs, I cried.
I know how spoiled I sound. I know how spoiled I am!
There is nothing wrong with an in home date night. We have them all the time. And that’s where I was frustrated. I wanted a server to bring me a glass of wine. I wanted to sit and hold hands with my husband while someone else cooked our meal. I wanted to walk away after eating and let someone else do the dishes. (Not that I did any dishes on V-Day, I didn’t even want Mr. Sexy to have to do them.) V-Day ended up being an off night because I wasn’t able to communicate with my husband about my feelings.
Date night takes discipline and it’s important for us to make sure it happens. Our date nights aren’t as regular as they used to be but we are working on it.
Speaking of discipline…
Disciplining my kids is a tiresome, never ending job. I mentioned on Day C that Michael throws tantrums at age 6. I’m not sure if that’s normal but in our family, it is. There are reasons for that. His world is constantly in flux being shipped off between homes. His dad doesn’t communicate with me well so it’s hard to make transitions smooth for Michael. However, just because life sucks (like it does for everybody at one time or another) doesn’t mean he gets to behave however he wants.
We are very strict with both the kids for different reasons. Michael likes to see what he can get away
with and is learning to be very manipulative – particularly with me. Marie needs strict guidelines in large part because of her disability. Disciplining her, for the most part, is pretty cut and dry. She doesn’t currently throw huge fits or tantrums or even talk back. Michael is a much different story. He’s highly emotional and very sensitive. He also seems to be becoming increasingly dependent – particularly on me. Below are some of our techniques that we learned from Parenting with Love and Logic.
Deep breaths and counting: When he is too wound up I tell him to be still, take deep breaths and count to 5. Oh my gosh. This has become a wonderful tool. Sometimes he finishes but his eyes are still red and puffy and his voice is still on the verge of a tantrum. So I say, “again.” He doesn’t always willingly comply which brings me to my next tool:
Choices: You can count to 5 and take deep breaths or you can quietly go to your room and take a nap. Giving Michael the ability to make his own choices has been awesome. Which veggie would you like to eat? Carrots or broccoli? Which consequence should you have? A time out or a nap? The trick is to make sure I give him choices that I can live with. If a time-out isn’t a good enough consequence then that shouldn’t be an option for him to choose.
Push-Ups: This was a consequence he chose due to his consistently rude behavior. Every time he was rude, no matter when or where, he gives 5 push-ups. We don’t use this one as much these days.
There are so many unique ways to discipline. I’m always open for new ideas!