Things are hard. All the time we run into road blocks. Sometimes I can’t see a way around them, through them or over them. Everything looks bleak and there is no light to keep me going. Then sometimes I can get a glimpse of the bigger picture. I can stop and realize that in the midst of crisis our basic needs are being met every day.
We bought a truck yesterday. It’s old and ugly AND a manual. I won’t be in the driver’s seat unless Mr. Sexy feels I need to learn how to drive it… This truck is very exciting for us! When Michael is home me and the girls spend a little over 3 hours in the car driving everyone to where they need to be. That is 3 hours of just driving. Now that we have a second vehicle my driving time has been reduced to about 30 minutes. I can’t wait for Michael to come home so we can relish the freedom of being a two car family!
A few hours after having the truck home I took a step outside. Mr. Sexy took our new truck to the woods to haul up some firewood for that night and the next few days. Although old, it runs much better than the truck that came with this property (which is currently stuck in mud a few yards from our house. It gets muddy out here.) I took a step outside, I see break lights and I hear “!@#$” which echoed a few times.
I knew exactly what that meant. The truck was loaded with firewood and now stuck in the mud. I wouldn’t get the van to take Marie to get pedicures the next day.
My stomach was turning over as I went back inside. I already knew how upset he was at yet another roadblock. It’s rare for me to see these situations in a lighter tone. But I did last night. I stood for a few minutes, leaning on the dining room table, telling God the facts.
We just bought this truck. Actually we only halfway bought it.
We got it to make our lives easier. To try and stop some of the chaos that goes on every day.
Now our new truck is stuck in the mud. We can’t get firewood. Mr. Sexy can’t take it to work tomorrow.
And Mr. Sexy is mad. He’s so mad.
But thank you that you provide for us.
We have a home to stay warm.
We have a kitchen full of food.
We have our van to get Mr. Sexy to work.
Thank you for always taking care of us.
Everybody goes through hard times. Everybody has roadblocks. Yet our lives often feel plauged with roadblocks. It’s not enough that we are dealing with a blended family and special needs. But we have money problems. And ex-wives. And cars that stop working or get totaled. And the list could on… and on…
Sometimes I try to rationalize all the hard stuff. I tell myself, we must be doing something wrong. I ask myself, what am I supposed to be learning? What am I missing? Sometimes I can answer those questions. But not all the time.
I think that all the time, in everything, I am supposed to be continuing to lean on God first. I’m supposed to trust him when it seems there is no solution to fix the problem. I am supposed to be thankful in all things because He is good in all ways.
But frankly, can’t we just buy a vehicle and have it work without any roadblocks?!