That is the question.
And we all have answers!
The interesting thing is that they are all different!
With my first, Michael, I was planning to breast feed for at least six months. That date quickly moved
to one year. I loved breast feeding. The connection I felt with him was powerful and comforting for both of us. I was also a single mom although I did date his dad during a portion of Michael’s first year. Michael’s dad had a lot of family in the area and they seemed to always be around and they ALWAYS wanted to hold the baby. I think this is why I hoarded our nursing times. Every two hours on the dot I just had to take him from which ever auntie or grandma and hide in a private, quiet room for a good 40 minutes. It was our hideout. We got to reconnect.
I did, however, have some issues where I almost lost milk. Working full time and then getting very sick on top of that did nothing good for my milk supply which never seemed to fully come back. So by the time Michael hit one year his dad was ready for Michael to stay with him overnight. His theory was that since my goal was one year, that goal has been hit, let’s move on.
On one had I was ready to move on. The weaning happened like a snap and he had his first overnight with his dad. I’m not aware of any crazy emotional stuff that went on for either of us. I am thankful that the transition was smooth.
The hardest part was transitioning to one overnight stay with his dad per week. Then two. Then three. And now our schedule is week on, week off. There is no right or perfect way to co-parent just like there is no right or perfect way to wean or when to teach your kid that bumps and bruises happen when they jump off the couch.
My experience breast feeding Deani has been significantly different. I have really enjoyed it and was looking forward to it throughout my entire pregnancy. But now that she is 11 months I would be perfectly happy to be done. I think this speaks to the stability I have in my family and in my marriage. I get to be home with Denai all day: cranky, happy or otherwise. By the time Mr. Sexy gets home she is his until bedtime.
I plan to wean in about a month but I don’t think I will do it cold turkey. I will probably just gauge how she is doing, how I am feeling and go from there. If she is ready to be done with a snap, well, so be it. I still get to spend all day with her. No love lost. If she wants to nurse before bed for a few months, well, maybe.
I’ve got to be honest here. I’m looking forward to being able to have a few beers and not be concerned with my breast milk!