It’s too much.
Something has got to change.
This isn’t working.
Every day is a fight.
A fight to survive.
Lord, only You know the truth to these words.
My heart is overwhelmed from exhaustion.
I’m reminded to lean into you.
You will replenish my soul.
You will mend what is broken.
You will find what is lost.
You will get us through today and then tomorrow and the next day.
Lord, I thank you so much.
I give praise and I worship you right now through the tears
because somehow, someway, for some reason, this is all about you.
Me, my happiness does not matter.
But giving you glory in every situation does.
So I will do my best, Lord.
And I will sing my praise songs
and remember how great you are.
As I’m writing this, it’s almost 7 at night. No one has had dinner. Mr. Sexy has dinner in the van. But now the van is stuck in the snow on our driveway carrying our dinner and the rest of our groceries. So now Mr. Sexy is hiking up the driveway, in his work clothes which are dress pants and dress shoes, hauling chains for our ford truck so he can hopefully get our van out of the ditch.
The other day Mr. Sexy post this on facebook: Why is EVERYTHING an Uphill battle?!?!? I got on his case about complaining about how difficult our lives are. “Maybe everybody has problems like these and the difference is they have enough money to fix the situation and we just don’t.” I have no idea if that’s true.
Last week our truck got stuck in a ditch and even with the help of some friends we weren’t able to get it out. Finally we got the truck to safety after a week of snow and having to hike around and lug logs to our house by sled. We were excited to finally be able to plow our driveway but it turns out the plow got bent in the mayhem and needs to be fixed before we can use it again.
And now the van is stuck in the middle of our unplowed very snowy driveway. It holds dinner. A dinner that used to be warm and probably smelled delicious. Also Mr. Sexy works part-time from home. This is a working night. Oh, and we need firewood lugged from the woods to our house, chopped, then it can thaw and be used tomorrow.
We are both ready to tackle life and have something work like it’s supposed to. On one hand I guess one poor decision has its road of repercussions. On the other hand, shouldn’t getting home after a long day at work be just a little bit easier?
Also, I haven’t touched on some very recent struggles with Marie. It’s been a very difficult few days that I may write about later. Maybe.