We’re Only Human

I am struggling with my blog because I am concerned about offending people.  I can’t decide if this is wisdom telling me to be careful or fear playing it’s nasty little game.  So at the risk of offending my friends and family, here goes.

I struggle with letting other’s words define me.  At least for a period of time.  Often I appreciate advice.  But then there is a point where either that person hasn’t earned a right to speak into my life so personally or another personal boundary is being crossed. Then that advice that was meant in love turns into something different.

More often it feels as if I’m being judged.  Usually by friends and family.  Most of whom are Christians. That’s kind of backwards isn’t it?  We are supposed to love each other.  We are supposed to be united.  Yet so often I see relationships fail when judgements are made, conclusions are jumped to and love is forgotten.  
It’s really easy for me to look into someone else’s life and know what their issues are and how to fix them.  The next step is to share my wisdom in the name of love.  I’m pretty good at this. 
While there is a time and place to speak wisdom into the lives’ of others, more often than not, I believe I am supposed to close my mouth and keep my judgements to myself.  What do I really know anyways?  
This can be so damn hard!  
This subject is on my heart lately because so often I feel looked down on and judged for the choices I have made for me and my family.  The fact is: What works for me might not work for someone else and that’s okay.  
For me, step-parenting is the toughest and most emotionally- charged thing I have ever set out to do. 
For me, sometimes a beer or mixed drink replaces my dinner.
For me, my house in the woods is perfect because it pushes me to be better every day.

For me, church is not my religion and sometimes I enjoy staying home with my family.

For me, money is a struggle to talk about, to live with, and to live without. 
For me, anger is a learned coping mechanism and a daily battle.

For me, my blog is how I try to find my voice.

For me, faith is often difficult.

This post is part of a series called Risk Rejection where a group of bloggers are linking up and sharing their own Risk Rejection adventures.  Mine is simple.  This blog.  I am still nervous when I see notifications for new comments.  I spend a lot of time worrying and over-thinking what I want to write about and publish. However I am enjoying my new bloggy space and it’s been an amazing outlet this past month.  I’m looking forward to the future of 5 Hearts, One Family. 
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12 thoughts on “We’re Only Human

  1. You're right, people are judgmental. And a lot of times they stick their nose in places it doesn't belong. On the flip side, people are going to leave their opinions on public forums, including blogs. Those opinions may not always agree with yours. I definitely agree with your opinion that step-parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

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  2. I have always hated it that Christians can end up being the hardest judges of all – worse than the world, sometimes, really. I want to be different. My family to be different. There should be love, grace and truth spoken (only wrapped in Love, though). It's hard. Hoping you find ways to set boundaries and find that place where your voice is heard and you don't worry about what others will say/do. #RiskRejection Cheering you on!

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  3. I once had a fellow Christian friend call me out on something right in the middle of a conversation. she had been saying little snide remarks since she entered my home — and it happened to be one of those really hard, stressful days of parenting that just wasn't going well. I already felt beat down — I thought a friend – another of faith, could help me back up. bring restoration. Instead, she side swipped my legs out from underneath me……all in the name of Christian duty/love.
    I didn't feel loved at all. And the thing she felt “called by God” to rebuke me on (she was almost in tears over this “terrible” thing I had done) was such a minor thing. so very insignificant. Yet, she made it sound like I was the worst mother in the world. But, her stance was that she hoped if I ever saw her doing something that was against God's word as a wife, a mother, a friend – that I would also call her out. Um no. How is that a nice world? going around pointing an accusing finger every time someone steps out of line?
    Where is the Grace in that? The forgiveness? Judgement without dialogue infuriates me.
    She was very upset with me that I didn't subscribe to her mode of thinking. It just doesn't sound very Christian to me. And the surprising thing is: this rock thrower lives in THE biggest glass house you ever saw. Perhaps she wanted me to tear that sucker the heck down!
    Of and the terrible thing I did? My kids were messing with the garden hose – despite being asked 3 times already to leave it alone – and aimed it at an open window, thus soaking inside the house. So I told them, half laughing – “alright, enough acting like idiot's with the hose – turn it off now or everyone comes inside.”
    Apparently calling idiots out for being idiots (according to her theory), crushes their tiny souls. *eyeroll*
    I guess my kids missed the memo, because all they did was laugh like…..well, you know. 🙂

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  4. Geeze how frustrating! But sometimes it's easier to live in a glass house than in reality. I think that's why I don't befriend other parents who have kids with disabilities easily. Many talk about how amazing their kids are and that's where the conversation seems to stop. I tend to get frustrated by Marie's limitations. Wasn't the Apostle Paul one of those guys who always told people straight up when they were being morons? I like to think he did it in a like able way. But maybe not.

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  5. Your blog, your space. If people don't like what you have to say, they don't have to read it. There will be haters–count on it. Christians seem to draw more “intolerant” people than those we are supposedly intolerant of. You write your heart and don't worry about anyone else…

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  6. I am soo with you! It can be a delicate balance between carefully chosen words, and speaking what needs to be heard…at the risk of offending people! I wish I could say I have mastered that…but..well…
    Not quite there yet! You and others have really called me to analyze my writing, what I do, and why! Thanks for that!

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